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Well, on second thoughts there are people who’d still call me a baby and their number is more than two, but I digress again… In my experience of talking to, consoling and counselling scores of young people like you, I’ve observed that there are three golden rules of dealing with parents who are real tough nuts to crack, and I thought I’ll lay them down today, fuming as I am. And you have no idea about the power of that belief. Again, you need to choose the option that makes you the least unhappy: Option #1: Embark on a radically new life.
Have you noted that I said “dealing with”, not “convincing”? A life with the man/woman you love, a life of absolute freedom, but one which offers drastically lower levels of material comfort than you currently enjoy.
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Option #2: Decide that you won’t be able to adjust to the above reality of a reduced standard of living and say goodbye to the man/woman you love. Let’s take the example of your parents’ decision of allowing you to marry your girlfriend/boyfriend.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Make a rational, practical and well-thought out decision, and prepare yourself mentally for the consequences. That analysis might happen in our minds entirely unconsciously. I think it’s very clear that their child’s happiness – while important – is not a determining factor for them so far as this decision is concerned.
Boys and girls (and don’t demand to be called men and women. Of course the first step is to try to convince your parents. However, if it proves impossible, you need to take a stand – one way or the other. I’m sorry, but there are no ways of going against reality.
If I could find the me of your age somewhere I’d have called myself a baby. If you have to take a stand that involves sacrificing someone’s happiness for someone else’s, whose happiness will you choose? Does that mean money is the only language that you can use – even with your closest family? But it gives you the mental strength and confidence to even believe that you can make your own decisions. If between the two of you you’re earning an amount which won’t allow for the maintenance of the same standard of living you currently enjoy – well, that’s a call you need to take.
I repeat – There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Don’t go into a hailstorm of remorse when those consequences become reality, because you know that you can’t have it all and you’ve made the best decision. (Otherwise why on Earth would they deliberately want their child to get married to someone other than the one they’re already deeply in love with? Is it looking very compelling to say a “yes” at the cost of losing face to the community? Now look at this one: What does that look like to you now?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating