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Dwelling on the past or struggling with pursuits that, at least for the moment, are futile, rob you of precious time.Acceptance may take determination, but is worth the effort.

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When an adult child abandons parents, or in some cases the entire family, the what-ifs and how-coulds can limit recovery. But staring at the silent telephone, desperately waiting for the uncertain return of your adult child can lead to despair.

After an adult child’s rejection, the idea of moving on can feel like giving up, so trying to move forward brings guilt. What kind of a parent just gets on with life as if nothing has happened? Most, on some level, hold out hope for reconciliation.

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Reconciliation may eventually take place, but in the present, accepting what’s happened allows you to make the most of your life now.

Most of us have had to accept other disappointing realities during our lives: a loved one’s death, the inability to finish college due to other responsibilities, or an unrealized professional goal.

Be sure to experience your surroundings to the fullest, by taking notice. Perhaps recall moments from your morning that went well.

I’m glad I was able to make that telephone connection and cross the task off my list. Parents have known and loved their children for so long that forgiveness may be second nature – – or not. Because of the personal benefits, forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself. In a study published by National Institute of Health in 2011, researchers found that older adults (median age 66) who forgive others report higher levels of life satisfaction.

Expecting that you can go to sleep one night determined to leave the pain of an adult child’s rejection behind, and wake up over it, isn’t realistic. I’ve gleaned a few tips from my own experience with my estranged adult child as well as from studies, books, and articles that can help. Fearing judgment, you may be embarrassed to share your painful truth. Keeping a journal or simply free-writing about your feelings may provide a safe way to offload them. You may be experiencing a stress response that isn’t good for you.

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